Lao Tzu

"A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.” – Lao Tzu

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Breaking News: 9-11 Truth Revealed

Wink-Wink News Service

Wikileaks recording exposes Bush-Cheney lie in 9-11 cover-up

LONDON: Calling it a case of “capital murder,” the WikiLeaks web site today released a secret taped conversation between George W. Bush and Richard B. Cheney, exposing Bush Administration complicity in the 9-11 attacks on the World Trade Center.

In damning contrast to the official 9-11 Commission Report, the recordings are the first hard evidence of the truth about 9-11.

Nearly three weeks after 9-11, in barely audible tones during the previously undisclosed conversations between Bush and Cheney, the two agreed, "we have a lot of stuff to manage here..." But Bush appeared to have trouble taking the matter seriously when he joked that "...heh, heh, heh, like I’m goin’ to walk out on the White House lawn and make an announcement that we did it and haw haw haw—gotcha!” 

Cheney didn’t seem amused and responded, “Listen, George, even if you did, nobody would believe it. The point is we’re going to have to keep this thing under wraps, regardless, and I mean it. No joking around, okay?”

Bush then got serious.  "Hey man, who can prove any different?"  Their opponents, he said, those in the administration who could not be trusted with the truth "could never argue that, you know, we killed all those people just so we could bomb Iraq and remove Saddam...we could throw cold water on the idea, no problem. I mean, like I’ve said, the bigger the crime, the easier it is to put water on it.  All I’d have to say is, ‘The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th,’" and they’ll figure I’m just being loopy, as usual, and...”

Cheney finished the sentence for him: " ...a complete moron. Right."

"Sure, Dickey Boy, whatever you say...just remind me not to mention my brother Marvin, or his company, or how they was handling the security at the World Trade Center. That might raise a few prickerly questions, eh? Heh, heh."

Cheney told Bush he would gather everyone involved, "get our story straight, pull out what we want, and get rid of the rest of it." The discussion was elliptical, but they appeared inclined to preserve, in Cheney’s words, "the national security" in terms of “essential fluids” and the “bodily integrity of the U.S.” toward a “future of economic and energy supremacy.”

Bush complained, "That’s all very well and good, but y’know, I’m the one who has to do interviews with bitches like Katie Couric. So now I’m gonna have to tell her that one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.  We’ve put me in an awful position, big time.  Hell, I’ve got a recurable nightmare already, where Helen Thomas is in my face with her eyes a-bulge, asking me ‘where’s your conscience, Georgie-boy?’  And I’m wakin’ up in a sweat, sobbin’, ‘Get off me, Helen, you’re killin’ me—stop, stop, stop—this is torture!...and Laura is lookin’ at me like, ‘who’s Helen,’ and I say, ‘I'm the commander -- see, I don't need to explain anything,’ because I’m still not quite awake. I’m tellin’ you, it’s terrorizing my life, Dick, what we’ve done. I think I might have that PDSD, y’know— ‘Post Dramatic Stress Disorder’ thingy.”

President Obama today dismissed the issue, first accusing the website of threatening America's national security with the revelations, then saying, with an indulgent smile, “Clearly, this conspiracy theory refuses to die; even so, as I continue to remind the American people, we must not become mired in the past—looking forward, not back, is our best policy.”

CIA Director Leon Panetta said the agency's Office of Security will "fully investigate" and “most likely prosecute those involved in WikiLeaks’ revelations.”  "In some cases, CIA sources and methods have been compromised, harming our mission...I mean..." he said, catching himself, “...this leak is a violation of the secrecy powers of the United States government and poses a threat to national security.”

Swedish prosecutors said the country would now issue an international warrant for the arrest of Julian Assange, the founder of Wikileaks, on multiple charges of serial murder and torture of babies and little dogs.

<wink wink by Zenzoë>

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